Sep 15, 2017

Pandora box

Under trouble I put a lid on my clear sight,
You opened a Pandora box, and I'm still exploring.

I used to envy that friend who recalled developing several level of thinking at once, and wished I was smarter. I was hoping it would bring me some higher power or let me know some mysteries that would lead me to better life and happiness.
However now that I'm there contemplating various level of consciousness at the same time, it spoils some moments because I catch my mind guessing what's next before it happens, my mind rushes into the future before my heart can handle the feelings and all I can do is sit and watch internally all my thoughts, the thoughts about my thoughts and feelings about primary and secondary thoughts unfold.
I read people's mind within 10 seconds of catching their sight, I guess their words before they open their mouths, even online I guess peoples mood and see into their issues before they open up about it, I have already thought the solution before I get the question, it's all going too fast, too soon.
It's like I'm high, and so I align with artists who have smoked weed just by listening to their music, and slow the flow of my mind narrative to get opportunity to catch my thoughts before they vanish under a pile of newer thoughts, and I write, to remember, recombine and relieve.

And I dance, I sing and I run to ground myself in the orgasms I get from my muscles, and the weird pain which I enjoy in these tiny fractures when I push myself to get stronger and more flexible, ever again.
As well as my mind rushes fast forward, so are my legs and fingers faster, and my senses sharper, sweets get too sweet, foul smells stink harder, everyday beauties shine brighter. And my love grows stronger.