May 14, 2011

Vacation from reality

Vacation from reality is an interesting concept greatly described by my favorite blogger in a recent serie of posts.

While the archdruid apply vacation from reality to a societal behavior: americans collectively forgot about ressources limit of the planet during 30 years until it backlashes on them, I have been subject to one, personally.

I woke up 30 y.o., slaving at a job I hate, living in a place where I have no interest for, married to a man I don't want a future with, STOP!

I don't know how it happened, where did I go wrong? where did I loose myself?

It's HIGH time for change.

Maturity: deliverance comes from inside.

Upon managing the comments of this blog, I was delightedly reminded that I used to look for deliverance. The delight comes from a simple fact: it's no longer true!
And I agree with "anonymous"(who??) that it did came from within, but how?

Indeed it did not come overnight, but gradually

Actually I developed some form of self awareness derived from meditation techniques, and that I coin "conscious feeling". Basically I'm very conscious that thoughts and feelings can be toxic, so I've trained myself to be aware of them while never trying to suppress them, nor trying to shut them down (ie.I've never"meditated").
Instead I've slowly rewired my brain to stop worrying by focusing on good outcomes, pleasant feelings and my own core values, anytime I was watching my mind wander on stressful paths.

In order to achieve this I had to first gain a deep understanding of my emotions, then sort out my true life values, and finally leap to be congruent, which is living up to one's value.

I had to remain well aware that I shall not strive to control what is beyond my influence. Reading Seneque surely helped on that one, but also the numerous minimalist blogs teaching us how to "let go" (of stuff, worries, rat race, etc)

Lately I'm in a blissful state of oceanic feelings, that I reinforce by listening to some music.
I'm attributing it mostly to maturity (already 30!) and marginally to some hormonal tricking of my brain.