The Wave

There's something troubling within
Echoing far away are heartbeats
Anysound enhancing is pushing
A blood rush up to the brain
It feels as a wave, blue and one
Uniting, moving, tying
To the great ocean of life
The original energy soup
Atomised within our selves
It feels alive in transe music
Over wild runs and dance
A beat inside and outside
Juicy present flowing overall

Magical Encounters

Some people have a magnetic attraction, some kind of hypnotising aura radiating from their stare. Each smallest motion of their body is grace, each eye contact is joyfull, their mere presence is intense, it feels as if they fill the air, abstracting any other one.
Inhabiting the present moment may surely be the way to feel alive, but some people can better make it last, stretch each second to a day, meaningfully transmuting a glimpse into everlasting memories.

It reminded me how biaised is my mind, for it's ineluctably clinging on same unvarying ethnical features: why? makes me wonder where I belong...

Transe

Substitute for love ain't fantasy
Drugged mills ain't no more fallacy
Entangled in wheel of fortune
Estranged in well of snow fume
We err on tilted bridges
We crawl on barren roads
Desperate for clear ether
Enamoured of white flow
Searching but no preaching
Hunting but no grunting
Flaunting our bellies
With mere wild berries

insight into the future

Thanks to the wonderfull blog of Dave Pollard (which incidentally was born the same year as my parents) "How to save the world" I discovered this fabulous article about our mid-term future:
http://ranprieur.com/essays/slowcrash.html
Obviously, young people (teens, 20 something) may worry about what's going to happen in 2040-2050, cause we're supposed to be 'mature adults' by the time, and not even ripe enough for retirement!
Predictions of passed peak oil time, when oil will be too expensive for most of us, and worsening climatic conditions due to global warming, are rather bleak, and stress me to find the 'best' way to survive, long term.
Therefore Ran's essay is a good news, he explains that economic and infrstrucutre breakdowns will be slow, and that's leaving hope for adjustment time. Furthermore the changes he predicts that would turn our lifestyle to 'simpler' could actually be anticipated painlessly, and that's the path I've already began, so I guess I'm in the right direction!

Remainders 2009

HAPPY NEW YEAR!



The best memories of 2008?
look here=>



What's left to be done in 2009?

- becoming an islander
- learning organic permaculture (vegetables, medicinal plants, berries, poultry and herds)
- increasing much needed sewing skills
- improving some key language skills

The Curse- a counter biblical story

Isn't it ironic that tonight on the news, there were once again tales of war in the Middleast?

Isn't it cynical that the land who might have been the original place where humanity sined at first, by inventing agriculture, is still cursed by an endless war?

Aren't they forever damned these early tribes, semitic people, who chose to get out of the peacefull garden of Eden? They got trapped in the illusion they could do as God, and cultivate food, so that they would grow forever.

Delusioned, they might be: these great grand children who haven't left the 'promised land' for more prosperous land, have realised they're jailed in a useless desert, and sentenced to forever fighting each other for drops of Jordan water.

short reading list:
-Ishmael, Daniel Quin
- Against the grain, Richard Manning

some kind of reality

In a strange attempt to freee myself from human made limits, I have grown into a some kind of animal : I can not appreciate, nor create any form of art, for it’s the core difference between animals and humans. Furthermore it appears I’m unable to obey any form of laws, rules, social code of conducts, dress codes or gender roles. Though I’m intelligent enough to learn and understand them, I can never feel belonging somewhere inside these rules. As those rules gathered in a define collection sets a definite culture, I can never feel to be part of any culture. Therefore I allways feel alien, while belonging nowhere. However I’m curious to learn and understand their systems, how they technically arrange their societies. Anyway their values allways slip over my head by the end of the day.

I can only stare strangely at humans and their opposite feelings about life, they endlessly seem to want something and its straight opposite simultaneaously, which by nature’s supremacy of rules can never be reached. Thus I pity them : those I can only blame to know too little, or maybe dare too little (?), to reach their true nature, which by nature’s supremacy of coherence would guess what’s to want, the latter being in their reach.

I’m sure to agree with that famous french anthropologist: «living species are getting extinct at a frightening pace, human population is so dense that humanity is poisening itself internally, I think about the present world which I’m dying in. It’s not a world I like. »

Liking or not liking is not a real question, what’s there has to be dealt with anyhow. But I have not, I am not and shall not help humans getting out of the shit they have fucked themselves happily into. Cause I know they’re off better dying happy in their shit, than living clean wondering how to enjoy freedom.

no sleep but dreams

Nothing's so important than dreams, and living up to your expectations. Maybe no one else matters, I mean they can do anything, think, and tell, we shouldn't give a damn, anyway.

Freedom ain't everything
But nothing else matters
Be oneself
Never justify why...
Deep down in my heart, I know where the truth lies
It hurts a lot to hide it, it's called "civilisation"

A young french testimony: the tyrany of generation 68

No it's not a new terrible science fiction book, it's the theme of some french who have been published in France quite recently.These books speak about the tyrany of the "papy boomers": the numerous generation born after WWII...The generation who's demonstrated in french street in 1968,May, while american counterparts were hippies opposing Vietnam war.
This generation had benefited from the economic prosperity following the rebuilt of Europe, thanks to American subsides, and low priced good commodities from former colonies.
With cash flowing like rivers in Canada, western (including french) society soon turned into a hedonistic and individualistic playground.
Following the "sexual revolution" (abortion and pill) and women emancipation (work, banking, political and divorce rights) there has been les and less children born. Following the health improvments there have been more and more very old people alive.
This has lead the papy-boomers while they were still powerfull money oriented adults to force their parents into retirement and old age houses, so that generation 68 could avoid to competiting for jobs, especially management roles, with them and to caring about them.
After making sure their parents would not trouble their souls any more (as the saying goes: far from sight, far from heart), they also made sure their own children would not.

Not only did they secure by law heavy pensions at the expense of the next fewer generation, but also did they highly speculate on real estate prices in order not only to be homeowners but also to get juicy lifelong endowments from very small flats rented out to students and young workers: the generation of their own children.
In addition they made sure that salaries would be linked to age, so that younger workers have close to none opportunity to get high pays (the recent Kerviel scandal at Société Générale is quite a good illustration of possible consequences of the despair which young french are plunged in)
So what's our life like?
A small salary, high rents and taxes to pay...moreover after decades of exploitation (by generation 68 of course! their former hippies' lifestyles have long gone utopia!) Mother Nature is beginning to revolt and make us pay higher price for rare commodities, which means rising food and other prices.
So I am living poorer as my grandparents in Algeria 50 years ago, but I have studied 14 years more than my grandmom!
No wonder I had to give up my motherhood dreams: I can't rear a child when I have to support the greed of my parents and the retirement of my grandparents...
Generation 68 has only planned the extinction of "blood" french people (at least 40% of current birth rate in Paris region comes from foreign parents), because the only people happy to live as poor as I am are those coming from the even poorer Subsaharan Africa or poor chinese countryside, that may be why Paris is begining to look more black than New York...

financial crisis=> revolution?

The last serious crisis in this world is supposed to have been 1929 and so on..but WWII was not a light consequence!
Are we at the dawn of another WW...the long awaited WWIII?
Some have said it would happen during the "cold war"
Some have said it would happen after september 11th and the crusade of USA against islamic world.
Who's afraid it would happen after the (major?) finacial crisis beginning from the subprime somthing??? but wait!
This all comes from an imbalance of cash between USA & China: China being the producer and USA the consumer...but who finances USA?? everyone else!! No we may no longer wish it...and the system collapse? it will! it's already began..but how & how long? how deep? no one knows!

Thank you

I am thankfull for all what 2007 have brung to my life:
The best ever friend, my soul mate, that I love so much
I have enjoyed the best ever holidays with him
I have found peace and fun at work
I have met many nice colleagues, and nice parisians
I have discovered Paris thanks to getting a nice flat there
I have realised the price of family life
I have got a slimmer, younger, toner body
I have had so much fun @sport and outdoors this summer
I have experienced that smiling to life means life is smiling to you even more
although I had some painfull: breakups they made me tough and corecting mistakes
I have learnt to accept my whole identity
SO my whole life's changed for better

zzzzzz

Somedays I simply miss you.
I feel void, and I don't even know what do I feel like doing once more.
Seems like I've been exploring all I wished
Seems like I've been meeting all those I wanted
And I am stranded on a desertic shore, all desire is gone
But I can't even tell you how much I need you

the days after

Heart and minds fully open
As naked in spirit as clothless
I smell him wherever around me
So I don't feel like washing
His eyes are as dark as a black hole
All I wish is to jump there, and float forever
No anger nor doubts can resist his charming smile
His words are allways sweet, but wise
I can't enough of his lips, as addictive as cocaine
I can't get enough of his arms, so tender
My reason tells me to keep on loving
My mind craves for his feelings
My eyes craves for his handsome airs
My body craves for his warmth and strentgh

Winter sight

Chicken skin, purple complexion
Winter sting, cold connexion
I love that pain, it's elating
I wish to stain, it's exciting
Crystal edges cutting harships
Low motion preserving fish
As the hunting snow leopard
I'm approaching the salmon lake
Young witch with heart in flake
I dare to whistle in the night
Under the vibrant photon fight
Silver drops of life falling in vain
White shades of fading cocaine
I soak under a swirling star rain
And my prints fly like a train

wondering

So what can they write in my CIA file?
Too many flowers for peace, too many smiles for love...

Not enough products in my closet?
they are visible powers of a macro reality...I am an invisible ant!
and I wonder why are we allways fighting an economic war against each other
I'm starving, longing and cuddling for shares, but can I only understand those who starve too?
I can get your eyes straight, I can get your stares long enough to let you tell away anything you feel like, I can get inside your heart and soul, because I let in my heart and soul

Dreams ain't bought with money, my art can't be sold, and our endeavors are free

so now is it illegal too be:
Searching to catch a net of dissident friends, searching for those soul mates who are trying to get grip on this world....and hijacking industrial world from inside, letting our dreams exploding their systems
Living outside their artificial world, creating our own mental realities, hiring more and more brainy young staff to turn our prospective realities into tangible plans
Staying cold to their advertisements, reading tightly any ingredients list, working and studying so hard that we can't fear anything, neither deem anything impossible!
Dreaming big, Feeling high, run, dance, smile and talk to anyone!

sweeping off my closet

It's been such a change, such a revolution in my life this last year...
Last november I had taken a turn in my life, I haven't only dropped 40 pounds...I got rid of all limits in my brain...slowly I...
I turned pain into bread and fuel for life
I turned loneliness into a kinda rage of life
I turned any flames into creativity
I came back to my childhood dreams, and let it flow
I came back to knowledge, because I'm no more a student, so I have to keep on studying to stay young and alert
Knowledge is the material for thoughts, and I can't pretend to know all by myself

I swept away all the dust, threw away all the uncessary items, too large clothes and old useless things that burdened my environement, now I enjoy clean, tidy and empty space.

I can't pretend anymore to be happy by myself, I ain't, I need you all, so I swept clean of my arogance and beg you knees down, apologise and turned back to you, I'm still there, alive, your friend, and you'll allways find me around supporting you no matter what happen in your lives.
I won't shy away to be who I am, and I won't be either overproud of myself, I'm still learning, and trying to be who I ought to be...
I won't shy away to stare at you girls too, cause I'm not going to do as if I was jealous, I love your looks too.
Out of the closet, I am just enjoying my new frame, my 6 pack, and all strong muscle...I wondered how could i have lived as a fat ass for so long, it's just so easy to be who i am now

But it's not over yet some of this revolution is still ongoing...some dust is left in the lcoset, some fat around the ass, some arrogance in my stares, some lazyness towards books...
I'm not a girl, not yet a woman....gimme more time

how do i seem

I had planned to write something, but i'll leave it blank






just like the future, that holds no expectations, no plans and no goal, wtf , deliverance from....anyone, means no love, but nooooooooooooooooo i can't, so i'll keep on loving you, even though it hurts, and i cry:p
on the other hand i know it's making me happy too!:d

brainaches

I feel like sharing new ideas, new creations, new hypothesis, I feel like testing any new material, but can't find no one to match my expectations, i want to go overboard and let it flow, but there is no one to pick up my lines, and i feel such a desert, i'm almost starving, it's like my ideas would get dry, stop the flow
I wish I could let it flow, but I'm gonna drown if it stays inside me, and I don't know how to let go
Maybe crying could help, I wish it could, but it's otherwise
I am feeling so much in pain
How can I deliver myself?

swirling stars

swirling stars surrounding me
taking me down the milky valley of dreams
glittering rainbow drops of crystal water
singing in the sun above our plays

curling hair surrounding me
in the misty air turmoil of my path
shining eyes staring at our talks
may be there may be somewhere inner

Its as dark as the void of space
Its as deep as our thoughts
Its as pure as childish minds
Its as energetic as a supernovae
But from all ends come a new beginning
And swirl stars, cycle the wheel of life
til my dance strear my ideas clear.

Mexican mindset

Somedays is the Mexican minset
It's Gold rush and tequilla
Blooming flower of joy under sunset
The rare rainbow and shower
Love Words spoken under pain
Isn't the silver line of whistle
Up isn't a vain stairway to heaven
Up is the cloudtear that can't fall
I think as a full fresh aloe
It's fertile and waterfull inside
But dry outside, as in a desert
Sorrow is under drought
Mere talks are not given
As silence is golden